Since my last post in August 2018, there has been many changes in my life (most of which I will probably write about at some point) but by far the biggest change happened on October 1st, 2019. After putting up an incredible battle against many health issues for over five and half years, my amazing Mum died peacefully in her sleep at the age of 80.
I wanted to use this space to pay a tribute to her because I wanted to share what an incredible woman of faith she was and without her commitment to prayer each and every morning, my family simply wouldn't be what they are today. Through unthinkable physical pain towards her last days, she was pressing into God and literally praying for everyone; the nurses who were caring for her, other patients in the ward around her and of course, everybody else she had on her treasured list.
My Mum was a quiet soul, she kept herself to herself most of the time and humbly carried the burden of intercessory prayer for over 40 years. I say it's a burden because it takes great courage and commitment to devote every morning to prayer; life is so busy and also you open yourself up to the Enemy trying to do whatever he can to stop those prayers. You see, prayers are direct messages to God and they have unbelievable power. In Mark, in the Gospels, the disciples were trying to cast out a demon from a young boy, but they couldn't do it. Jesus said, "This type of powerful spirit can ONLY be cast out by fasting and prayer!"
Another important fact about Mum is that she didn’t know anything about Jesus until she gave her life to Him in the early 1970’s. In fact, she gave her life to Jesus on the same night as my Dad. While he was downstairs asking Jesus into his heart, my Mum was upstairs doing the same thing (they didn’t know each other was doing this either, which is hilarious). It was then that this incredible relationship started which makes her life even more of an example - to go from having no Christian upbringing and no experience of God, let alone Jesus and faith, to having an intimate relationship with Jesus is really quite remarkable. Prayer and Jesus was what my Mum devoted more time to than any other pursuit.
Jesus also taught a lot on prayer and the importance of being alone in a room where no-one can see you (Matthew 6:6), because prayer is so personal. Mum used to shut herself in the bedroom, open up her prayer diary and Bible and would start to pray. She would start with family, then relatives, then close friends and then gradually her metaphorical prayer fishing net would get wider and wider. She did this every day. Nothing could stop her. Why? Because each prayer she prayed was being answered - sometimes straight away, and sometimes a few years later. Some might say that it was just coincidence her prayers were being answered, but because she wrote down exactly what she was praying there was no way it could be. She had a friend in the form of the Holy Spirit who was right there with her, nodding and agreeing and doing what she was asking.
I say a friend because I also don't know anyone else who's had the physical Jesus turn up in their sitting room and dance with them, like He did with my Mum, too. My Dad was on his way back home after being away at teacher's training college and my Mum was on her own (kids were in bed) in the sitting room and she felt the Holy Spirit breathe on her and she started dancing. When she opened her eyes, there in front of her was Jesus who picked her up and swung her around and they danced for a long time. When Dad got home he found my Mum slumped in an armchair and he rushed over and asked if she was ok. In typical Mum fashion she said, "yer (in her Birmingham accent) of course, I was dancing with Jesus!" Every time I tell this, it's impossible not to be in tears. It's truly astonishing.
One thing my Mum struggled with, more than anything, was her appearance. I'm not sure why as she was very slim and always looked absolutely immaculate but for some reason she would get really upset if her hair wasn't right, or she spilt something on her or it was windy... whatever the reason was, she did try so hard with this image identity thing but in silence most of the time. I remember one morning as we sat in the car, waiting to leave for church (Mum was always the last out of the door), when she got in the car she was laughing. Dad asked what was going on, and she said that she was looking in the mirror at herself when the voice of God came and spoke to her and said, "You look beautiful today, Jenny!" He knew more than anyone the struggles she was having but knew exactly what to say and when to say it. This is just another story to show what an intimate relationship Mum had with her Father in Heaven.
Another thing I remember is that she always had a secret stash of cash, which I'm not sure where it came from. My brother would get me to ask Mum for money for football stickers and she always said yes and had a couple of pound coins in her purse. This might not sound a lot, but as a family we had gone through some very hard financial challenges so the fact she had money to spare was a miracle in itself.
She also loved her worship music. Whenever I came home from school there would be worship music playing and she'd be somewhere in the house whistling away to the music. Interestingly, I never ever saw my Mum whistle. Even that was private to her, haha. But she also loved some secular bands. Her favourite was Elbow and particularly their song, 'One Day Like This', my Dad would often joke with the kids and literally throw the curtains wide during the chorus when the singer sings "throw those curtains wide". This usually annoyed my house proud mum, but I'm sure she'd secretly laugh about it when we weren't looking!
Now, I could go on with many stories of how Mum blessed us and others around her, but she truly amazed us and everyone who was around her in her last years. In 2014 she was diagnosed with a condition called vasculitis, which causes an inflammation of the blood vessels and can lead to blood supply being cut off to organs, and it was very aggressive. It attacked Mum so much that it shut her kidneys down to 5 per cent efficiency. She was told she'd need to be on dialysis for the rest of her life. Mum had never really been ill and she'd spent many years praying for our health so somehow it didn't seem fair. But we got our church to pray and my Dad and siblings got their churches to pray and everyone else we knew. Within four weeks her kidneys were back to 100 per cent efficiency!! Incredible. The doctors were not quite sure how it happened but asked Mum to "keep doing what she was doing because it was obviously working". She said, "it's prayer, that's all." She was defiant, as always.
However, because vasculitis is a disease it remained in her blood and although Mum recovered enough to be at my sister's wedding, Mum was never totally free of it and there was a worrying rash on her leg that was growing. Within a week she was in intensive care with viral meningitis, shingles and vasculitis, all at the same time. But, incredibly she survived. She said throughout the whole ordeal she was praying constantly and incredibly the one thing that kept her alive was her KIDNEYS! Apparently, they were so efficient that they helped get rid of all the nasties! Amazing!
Another thing my Dad noticed was her hair, for many years she was worried about it turning grey (remember what I said about her image worries) but somehow during her illness her hair stopped turning grey and started to grow in light brown. Thank you Jesus.
For the next three and half years Mum's life drastically changed. She was either in bed or in a wheelchair, the meningitis had caused her to lose the feeling in her legs (which gradually started to come back) and also caused crippling neurological pain in her left arm, as well as causing her to put on a lot of weight from the medication and not being able to walk. My Dad cared for her non stop and their house became a maze of medical equipment. Mum was particularly house proud and everything needed to be in its place. This was so hard for her but with daily care from the health service and Dad's attention she carried on praying and battling every day until the end. She inspired every single person she met with her iron-clad faith and would always have a classic sarcastic quip to say if something was annoying her. I had the privilege of being able to fly back from Australia to see her smiling in her last few weeks.
In the early hours of October 1st, Mum was finally called home. She was asleep in the hospital and her heart rate dropped slowly as well as her breathing and then she went to be with her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (and all the other heroes in Heaven). The legacy of all of her prayers will live on for literally generations and she will always be remembered as the humble servant who prayed every day of her Christian life, who honoured her husband, children, and who loved unconditionally. She was a prayer giant and I'm forever grateful for her.
Lastly, in the evening after Mum passed away we were praying as a family, my wife, my kids and myself, giving God the praise for my Mum. My son who's 14 said he had been given a vision of her meeting Jesus. When my son wrote it down and read it to us it was one of the most profound pictures I've ever heard of not only the character of Jesus but the assurance that what Mum believed in, wasn't a waste of time. It was real, and her Saviour was, too. So to finish this tribute, I'd like to share my son's picture with you all.
"Me and my family were talking about my Nana who had just passed away and were talking about all of the memories we had as a family. I looked up at the ceiling while talking and I see my Nana in her wheelchair and I see her get up out of it and she starts to walk. As she walks, I see all the fat on her body drain away and this huge bright light came as if it was the sun exploding before her. A man on a white horse came with a white beard, hair, robe and had fiery eyes with greens, blues, reds and yellows. He came down off the horse and came to her and showed her all of heaven.
"After that vision, I looked around the room and looked at the coffee table in the middle of the room. I could see a hologram of the world and Jesus and my Nana were there talking about all her adventures around the globe and how she wished she could've gone to Australia to see the beauty (one of her last desires). Then Jesus said, "I will show you better!" After that Jesus showed her all that had gone wrong inside my Nana's body and was telling her all about it. After that experience/vision it was dead silent in the house.
"Then I could hear this sound. I looked up to see where it was coming from and so I looked at the middle of the table again and I saw my Nana and Jesus dancing to the song 'One Day Like This' by Elbow. Angels were signing it to her loudly. Then the chorus "Throw those curtains wide" came on and I could see my Nana opening the gates of Heaven wide open and seeing everyone else in the Kingdom of God."
Thank you Mum for all the memories. I love you and miss you.
Your son,
Adam
