Wednesday 11 April 2018

Throwing Nets On The Other Side

A couple of weeks ago, I told an amazing story. It was about a bunch of hardened fisherman from Northern Ireland who were told about Jesus and the miracles that He did. Not long after hearing about this historical miracle maker, the guys went out, as they always did, and cast their nets. What happened next was incredible. They caught so many fish that their boat became weighed down and they all surrendered their lives to Jesus. The picture is below.


This story immediately took me to the story in the Bible of Simon Peter. He and his fishermen mates had gone out all night and had not caught a thing. Jesus was standing on the shore as they made their way back and He shouted to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?" "NO!" They shouted back to Him, not knowing at this moment that it was Jesus. "Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some." Jesus said.

Just try to imagine, if you will, yourself as the fisherman in this story. Firstly, it's the audacity of being told by someone who isn't doing what you are doing or isn't going through what you are going through, to try again but in a completely wrong way to what you're used to. I'd be like; "you have no idea, mate. Thanks but no thanks." Simon Peter and his colleagues would have had a routine, a strict way of fishing and would probably have been extremely tired and angry that they didn't have a catch. So not in a good place to hear themselves or their method being put into question.

Secondly, it's the way they respond, in this story, which I find even stranger. They just went for it. No questions asked but the attitude of, 'what's the worst that could happen?' Don't you find this a little strange, like I do? I can only assume that there was such authority in Jesus' voice that these guys did what He asked of them. When they did what Jesus asked, they struggled to contain the amount of fish - a bit like our Irish friends.

But then, for me, the most amazing thing happens. After being obedient to the Lord's call to do something which pushed their better judgement, Jesus asks them for some of the fish and cooks up a mean breakfast. Not only does this speak of Jesus honouring obedience with rewards but it also underpins the fact that He DOES understand when we face trials and knows what to do to put everything right. Even if we have made the same mistake over and over again. When we face trials are we standing aside and asking God for help and direction or are we still fishing in the same barren waters?

I've been in the same situation as the disciples many times. I have not only kept doing what I think is right and not obeying God's voice, but I haven't asked for help or direction. This always, inevitably, leads to discontentment.

"Peter disowned Jesus but Jesus cooked Peter breakfast and reinstated him."

But the thing I love about God is that He then doesn't judge me when I completely mess it up. When I go to Him and say I'm sorry, there is no 'I told you so' but utter love and acceptance and a fresh chance to be obedient. Think of how Peter was feeling at the moment he walked onto the beach and recognised Jesus. He had denied he ever knew Jesus not too long ago but here he was, being cooked for and then Jesus reinstates him completely. This is such a wonderful story of grace and redemption.

Two weeks ago I felt I'd heard God ask me to throw my nets on the other side. The idea of going back into writing was almost ludicrous, especially as I hadn't been involved in the industry since before I got married, 14 years ago. But God wasn't asking me for anything impossible, He was asking me to trust Him. I had been casting my nets on the same side, over and over again. All I seemed to be catching were scraps of junk and lots of closed doors. So, like the disciples, I put aside all my so-called knowledge and threw my nets over the other side of my metaphorical boat.

Well, if you'd have told me there and then that I'd publish my first children's story online and be asked to help start up a motoring news website in the first two days of going self employed as a writer, I'd have laughed very hard. But this has happened. God honoured my faith to trust Him and presented a fresh opportunity to take back which I felt to lay down all those years ago. He is just so kind.

So the story about throwing nets over the other side of the boat is not so much about the quantity of fish, but it's really about how much faith we have in God that when He says 'do it' we simply say 'yes'.

What are you trusting God for? What things have you been doing over and over again to try and see an answer but it just hasn't happened? Go to the Father and ask Him to show you what you actually need to do and He will tell you. He did that with the disciples, He did it with me, He's done it for countless others and He will do it for you.

It's what He does best.

Blessings!

Tuesday 3 April 2018

Walking Out of the Forest

It's been one year and 11 months since my last post on here. I'm not sure where the time went but all I know is a lot has changed since I last wrote anything on this blog.

When I last wrote, my family and I were living in Dee Why in the Northern Beaches of Sydney and I was working for a large shopping mall company, which I loved. However there were many frustrations which I didn't speak about because I was trying to process everything. As a family we were still trying to establish why we were living in such an expensive part of the world and for some reason we weren't connecting with people or our local church in the way we thought we would. It's difficult to explain but it felt like hard work all the time. I guess sometimes my wife and I would try and take a step back and say, "what is going on?"

As well as the difficulty of establishing relationships, working out our place in the church and where we were living, we were also finding life very tough financially due to the stupidly high rent costs in the Northern Beaches. This was adding to the stress of the moment and I guess it was dogged determination which saw us through right up until May 2017. Sadly by this time we had reached breaking point. I had changed jobs, my wife wasn't happy in hers and it just all got too much. But bizarrely we still felt that we were meant to be in Australia. Something HAD to change. So we began crying out to God for something to happen. Not more than 8 weeks later, it did.

One weekend we made a decision to drive up to the Central Coast (about an hour and a half from Dee Why). We wanted to have a look as some friends of ours had moved there and they'd said it was amazing but we wanted to see for ourselves. When we arrived we ended up driving down a little road and at the end was this giant lake. The water looked like a mirror and it was as vast as the eyes could see. But even more incredible that the view, was the sense of utter peace. For the first time in a long time it just felt like we could breathe. It was amazing. Not much was said but we knew in our hearts that maybe we should come back one day.

About a week later, my wife was at home and she was watching a YouTube clip from Bethel Church's worship conference and Brian and Jenn Johnson were interviewing Mark and Darlene Zschech. They were talking about a church they were leading and my wife was instantly moved by their hearts around what leadership is and she was blown away by it. It was during this video that my wife found out that the church that Mark and Darlene were running was based in the Central Coast in a place called Charmhaven. We'd never heard of it but agreed that maybe we should go and check it out.

So on May 7th, 2017, we drove to Charmhaven and arrived at Hope Unlimited Church (Hope UC). As we pulled into the carpark there were Kangaroos sitting there looking at us; I remember it as clear as day. We were, like, 'what are they doing there?' - turns out they just 'live' there. So with an edge of excitement we got out of the car and made our way into the doors of Hope UC for the first time. Instantly we were greeted by warmth, kindness and a sense of belonging. It's quite hard to explain but I remember feeling quite overwhelmed by the instant feeling we had.

During the service, PS Darlene was bringing the word and mentioned that she was in Brighton (UK) with Martin Smith (a world renowned worship leader) and I remember thinking; 'we've only been here for an hour and already my home town is being spoken about and the person in the story is someone I know...'. At this point, my wife taps me on the shoulder and says, "That's Kirsty's friend, Hayley, at the back - I'm going to go and say hello...". I was a bit confused and asked her how she knew and she said she'd seen Hayley's picture on Facebook. The next thing I know they are hugging and laughing. It turned out it was a friend of a friend who we knew from the UK, who'd married an Aussie and moved here several years ago. It's a small world sometimes, really.

That afternoon as we drove home we had a very strange feeling. One of disappointment that we were driving away from the Central Coast and would be heading back to familiarity, and the other of excitement because none of us knew what was going to happen next. However, our kids loved the Northern Beaches and my wife and I knew that God would have to change their hearts in order for us to move. So we left it to Him and started our week.

Two days later I was praying and asking God for a word for me so I'd know that this was from Him. Randomly I got sent a verse from the bible in a text message from a close friend; it said this: "So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Jesus Christ - eternal and glorious plans they are! - will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, He does." 1 Peter 5:8 - 11 MSG. I mean, WOW. Like, seriously. My mind was blown and I felt an utter sense of peace that I should begin to push doors and see if this Central Coast thing would happen.

At this time I was working on a large building site and hating every moment of it. I felt no sense of purpose and was just turning up day after day. But just after our amazing weekend in the Central Coast I felt an air of excitement about looking forward and so I updated my profile on Seek (a job page) and within an hour had a phone call about a job in the Central Coast. I was asked a few questions and whether I was interested and I said yes, absolutely. Within two weeks I had quit my job and was offered the Central Coast role to start in June. We were on our way, it seemed.

While this was going on, my wife was chatting with my son one day and out of the blue he said, "Mum, if you and Dad think you need to move, I'm OK with that." I mean this was such a wow moment because God was in the process of changing out kids hearts for the move just like we'd asked him too. It was amazing.

The next part of the story is a bit of a blur. Not because I can't remember what happened but because it happened so quickly. I'll try and summarise what God did, in a few lines. Oh, this all happened in the space of two weeks...

1. We broke our lease and found a new tenant within a week
2. We applied to rent a particular house in Mardi on a Saturday morning and we approved on the Monday
3. Our son was offered a place in a new school, the same day we were approved for the rental
4. We were given a moving out date, earlier than anticipated
5. My new boss offered to loan me a company truck so that I didn't have to spend money hiring one
6. I was given the day off on the Friday to move in
7. By Sunday we were moved in and at Hope UC

The way I gauge whether God's plans are lining up with my dreams or not is by the speed at which He works. Sometimes He is VERY slow to do anything. Not to necessarily delay the process but because maybe He wants me to learn something new in the extended time frame before allowing me to move forward. Sometimes He is very fast. This is when His timing for change lines up with my changed heart and everything clicks. Sometimes, I wish that my heart would always be in the right place, but thank you Jesus for grace, I am not a finished work but He knows this and loves me anyway.

So we had now moved. We felt like we were on holiday. The sense of rest and peace was extraordinary and as bizarre as it sounds, we just knew we'd make really good friendships here as everyone we spoke to had similar stories to us. Stories of struggle, pain and blessing. These people had all gone through much and yet had seen incredible blessing and favour waiting for them at the other end of the hallway. We just knew that God had brought us to the right place and that now we could start putting down deep roots.

For me personally, however, despite all the joy of moving, connecting in the church, joining the worship team, seeing my kids growing in Godly stature, seeing my wife have the community she craved for so long now all around her; my heart was still feeling restless. You see, when all this Australia thing happened (see my blog post called Launchpad) back in 2004, I laid down my career in writing to go into construction, and that change of career ultimately lead to us getting a visa. Although I had always known God was in that decision, the last four years in the construction industry in Australia were horrible and I had never felt settled in it. Just one look at my resume you'll see I've had more jobs in four years than I had in 10 years in the UK. Now that old feeling of restlessness had come back over Christmas and I was dreading going back to work. But one night God gave me a dream.

In the dream (it started as soon as I closed my eyes - so I don't know if I was asleep or awake) I found myself standing on the edge of a forest. The trees were all choked up with thick thorns and it was incredibly dense - I couldn't really see into it and it looked a mess. But in front of me was the widest open place I'd ever seen. I could see luscious green fields, a lake and in the distance a beautiful mountain range. The air was fresh and I could literally feel wind on my face. I felt so free.

As I was seeing all of this, I was also thinking to myself; 'how did I get here? Is this a dream? It feels so real. I need to open my eyes!' So I did. I was back in my bed and only a few minutes had passed in literal time. I mean, what the heck was that all about?

I was so freaked out by the dream that I didn't tell anyone about it. I have a prophetic gift and have had dreams and visions in the past, but this was so real and almost unexplainable, so I was left perplexed and asked God to tell me what it was all about before sharing it with anyone. But I got nothing, for days. In the end I told my wife about the dream and she said that maybe I needed to wait a little longer for the answer, so I did.

About two weeks later I was praying with some men from our church and God began to talk to me about the dream. He said; "The forest behind you is your life. It has become thick with confusion and when you are in the midst of it, you cannot see a way out but you know I'm there with you. The wide open space in front of you is what I have planned for you. No limitations, no compromising, no boundaries. It is also a place of rest I am calling you into. The choice is yours though. You either look back and go back into the forest, or you enjoy this new season." Wow. I mean, what do you say to that, apart from 'YES LORD!'

Not long after this I began to feel such a sense of discontentment at work and this nothing really to do with my employer but more about me asking God about where I needed to be. One thing I knew for sure was that God had us at Hope UC for a reason. He had brought us to an area of the Central Coast where He really wanted us to be involved and stuck into the community and in my current work environment there was pressure on me to be travelling and away from home, this was something I did't want to happen as it had happened before in Melbourne and it was hideous. I kept telling myself, God only moves forward, not backwards. He would not allow me to head back into the forest if His plans were to prosper me.

One night, my wife and I prayed that if my current role was not right God would shut the door. Three days later He did. I was told that my employer would be looking for someone else as my interests didn't line up with the company any longer. I was given a weeks notice.

Now, in the real world, this kind of news would be devastating to anyone. Losing a job is not good at any time. But my wife and I knew, without any shadow of a doubt, that God was in this. If He had shut the door, another one would open. We felt peace wash over us and I left my job with my head held high. That was four weeks ago.

About three days later, I picked up a new job working on a production line, making timber roof trusses. The pay was shocking but I needed the money. Five days later I was told I was no longer required because I was 'too smart and too old'! What does that actually mean? So I was left scratching my head and asking God to just give me a little wisdom in knowing His heart - I literally didn't have a clue. The only glimpse on the horizon was an interview for a construction job, but this was in Sydney. Was this the answer to our prayers or another distraction? We asked God to shut the door if it was a dead end. He did. I was told that I didn't have enough experience - fair enough. I wasn't trained in project management anyway. But then it hit me...

I have been professionally trained in something. I do have a passion for something which I had once laid down for God and His plans for us as a family. Half of my working life was devoted to this passion. That passion is writing. Writing is my favourite waste of time. Writing is what I love to do the most. Writing is the overflow of my heart. I LOVE writing.

After this wave of excitement I had a quick peek on a job site to see what writers get paid these days - I was pleasantly surprised. In fact it was much better than what I had thought it would be. Plus with my previous experience, surely someone would see past the last 8 years of construction and pick me up from where I left off? So I called a writing agency to find out. Again, I was pleasantly surprised. Apparently, because I had been keeping this blog, that was technically classed as writing on a regular basis and because I had previously had written work published I stood a very good chance of getting back into the writing game...

So this, my friends, brings me to today. Literally as I am writing this sentence I am beginning a new journey and have decided to pursue my dream and vision to write for a living. I do not have crazy plans to drop everything and 'just see what happens' but I have a vision to see this gift, which I believe was given to me when I was at school, be used for God's glory in whatever context He chooses. It's time for me to let go of the steering wheel, let God take over, and just rest and enjoy the ride. I am hoping that you will come on this journey with me.

Just one final thing to say before I sign off; thank you to everyone who has prayed for us, supported us and championed us in this journey in Australia. It has been one crazy ride but God has remained faithful along every step of the way. Sometimes it is incredibly hard to live out a life of faith but when you fix your eyes on Jesus, everything seems that little bit easier. He is always good. He doesn't want us to remain in a forest, He wants us to experience His wide open space. My prayer for you is that this blog has inspired you to keep trusting Him, your season of unanswered questions will not last long. His plans are always perfect.

Blessings!